Great new National Billboards

Heh my National mates have hit the spot again with their great billboards:

Free at last

I knew I was going to have to do something extreme to get off that damn show.

Sorry Krystal but I was getting desperate.

Oh well at least my vote for that dance was 400% better than our party rating.

I’m going to pay it back too!

Not to be out done by Don, I am also introducing a private members bill – the Civil Lists Act 1979 (AWOL members) Amendment Bill.

This Bill will require Heather and I to repay all our salary, allowances and airfares received during the periods we have been absent without leave dancing and playing soldiers.

How bad was that - 13 points!

Please stop voting for me!

It must be all those nasty Labour Party people voting for me so they can watch me make a fool of myself for another week.

Please, I want to get off.

They are asking the wrong question

Just like in those pre-election Epsom polls, those stupid people at Colmar Brunton are asking the wrong question. Nobody knows who ACT is so of course they are only going to poll 1.1%.

Next time, ask them if they support Rodney's Party and you'll get a real suprise.

Who reads it anyway?

Does anybody still read the Readers Digest? What kind of methodolgy did they use to rank me at the bottom end of the trustworthy scale. Surely it was done pre-Dancing. I would be near the top now, not down the bottom with Tariana and the Bishop.

.......
73. Rodney Hide (Leader of Act)
74. Tariana Turia (Maori Party Co-leader)
75. Bishop Brian Tamaki (founder of Destiny Church) - LAST

Midnight rendezvous with Russ

Just enjoyed another midnight rendezvous with Russ over at the other Blog.

Nice to have him around.

Hoorah - not last this week

It's official - Australian's are stupid

Do you believe it? The ACNielsen/Age poll published in today's Melbourne Age said "more than two-thirds (68 per cent) said the priority should be spending on services and infrastructure; only 29 per cent put reducing taxes and charges before more money for services."

Maybe we should all go over there and they can come and have their socialist heaven here.

Shame on you Ken Shirley!

Get your snout out of the corporate welfare trough Ken. That's $1.5m of taxpayers' money you've highjacked to fund your little PC organisation. I'll have you expelled from the party right away.

I'm going to have to let you go Krystal

This dance act is performing as badly as ACT. Sorry Krystal, but it's only my overwhelming personal popularity that is keeping us in this.

I have found a new partner who is just as popular as me.

Can't you smell the animal magnetism? I'm sooooooooo sexy!!!

Am I the only one in step on this?

Geez a bloke just can't win. I stick my head up out of the sewer to talk about a policy issue, and you all bag me. Even my most fervent supporters. Looks like I'm moving to Mexico as the only sane country left on telecommunications policy.

See I told you Don

Who made the news tonight? MEEEEEEEEEEE

Ferret & Grub - what a combination

As I said on my other blog, Ian Wisearse is a great ferret of information. Ferret: hound or harry relentlessly.

I see those stupid Nats are again wasting their valuable questions on "policy" issues today instead of getting down and dirty like me. Just see who gets their head on the tele tonight - Don or me?

And you also get to see me dirty dancing on Sunday. You lucky people!

Don't wimp out on me Don

Look I know its hard work dishing up the dirt day after day. Just because you don't get a poll bounce immediately, that's no reason to abandon the strategy. You're sounding like bloody Roger - policy, policy, policy. You need to show some balls just like Bob Clarkson.

Don't be driven by the polls mate. I'm certainly not. Do you think that I care that my party is only on 1%?

ACT bill to give NZ what they want

My Accelerated Cloning Technologies (ACT) Bill to be introduced next week will help give New Zealanders what they want - more of ME!

As I found when I visited all 19,980 households in Epsom last year, when people meet me face-to-face, they love me.

With the millions which my Bill will provide to private enterprise for high level research, it won't be long before they will be able to clone wonderful people like myself. Another 61 Rodneys and every electorate could have one. I wonder if they could add a touch of Māori and make another 7 - then nobody would miss out on being represented by me. Come here Tariana, give us a kiss?

Wasn't I great (again)?

Did ya see me on Eye to Eye this morning? Not so sure I should have mentioned the choir boy thing though, people might start to speculate.

I had it all over JT again. Thought he might bop me at one point but I just couldn't goad him enough.

And what about the hairy chest look? Oh so swish in my tux and oh so sexy in an open neck shirt.

Guess who I've got in my sites?

While Parliament has been at rest, I haven't.

My happy band of muckrakers has been trawling through company records, school friends websites and assorted garbage cans over the past few weeks. And we have found some juicy stuff to fling.

Helen must be quivering in her (bossy) boots waiting for me to take aim at one of her frightened little Cabinet bunnies.

I'll don (sorry Brashie, no pun intended) my impenetrable cloak of parliamentary privilege come May 2nd, and squeeze off a few rounds at those socialist no-good do-gooders opposite. POW-POW.

Golly, when are they going to have another one of those spiffy arms shows. Note to self: get photographed with a free-market produced weapon next time, not one of these crappie commie ones.

Hi Russell

Look who is a signed up posting member over at my other blog. Pity we didn't nail Parker mate.

Hope you drop by here soon and post some inciteful (sic) comments. If not we are sure to catch up on my next tax-payer funded fishing trip to Dunedin.

Get off my back Roger

So when did policy discussion ever get your head on the tele? These boring old party farts like Sir Roger should realise that I am the Party now. No Rodney = no Party.

We are a tiny government party, so we only need tiny policies. And besides muck-racking is so much more fun. Parliamentary privilege is such a wonderful thing. You can just keep tossing the muck and some will always stick.

Point of order Madam Speaker.

Goin' for the big target now

I have some very reliable information about Helen pushing a kid called Brian off a swing and making him cry in 1954.

If anybody witnessed the incident please contact me. I'll ask a question or two when Parliament resumes to trap her into a denial, then WHAMMO - hit her with the full facts and witness statements.

God I love this stuff.

Don't I look swish?

If that southern hick Shadbolt could pull it off, then it will be a breeze for someone as sophisticated and cosmopolitan as me.

But I suppose I could make a real arse of myself. Speaking of which, does my bum look big in this?

Bring out your dirt

I am always looking for more dirt on those nasty big government socialists. My mate Don is just too nice to do this sort of work, put he does egg me on every time we and our ladies get together at the batch for our chummy hols.

So if anybody has some juicy tales to tell about their days at kindy with bossy-boots Helen or any of her minions, I'd love to expose it. Just email it to me or my other good mate Ian could publish it in his nice glossy mag. Beats me how he keeps running it though.

I love to (s)wallow

Spent the morning getting stuck into a plate of sticky buns pondering which Cabinet member will be my next target.

Real bugger about that 1999 letter on file. Gee, if I had been in government we would have privatised the Companies Office and they wouldn't have found shit on any file to save Parker's arse.

No hard feelings David, here have a sticky bun